Yet another thing that they don't tell you in pre-baby classes--how your shopping experiences will change. Let me enlighten you.
You will not be able to leave the house without diapers, a massive, cumbersome stroller, wipes, an extra outfit, goldfish, and juice/milk.
You will attempt to buy a book, and end up buying one for your child too because he/she starts throwing a fit in the super-quiet bookstore and screams "Book! Book! Book!" at the top of his/her lungs.
You will go into your favorite store, Anthropologie, and attempt to find something cute, weather-appropriate, and inexpensive (good luck with that one) to wear to a football game that weekend. You will take the huge, cumbersome stroller into a handicapped changing room and strip down as quickly as possible. Your child will tire of the book you just got him/her, and he/she will demand "cackas.'' Cue the goldfish. While you attempt to wade through the pile of potential outfits, your child will open the door and show everyone in the dressing area what you look like without a top on. Awesome. You will leave a trail of crumbs Hansel and Gretel style all over the store, therefore making it easy for the employees to figure out which person made a fantastic mess. You will turn red with shame.
On the bright side, you will get 3 cute tops and a blazer. Your child will be so exhausted from peeking out under the dressing room door that he/she will fall asleep on the ride home.
I'm just warning you.
You will not be able to leave the house without diapers, a massive, cumbersome stroller, wipes, an extra outfit, goldfish, and juice/milk.
You will attempt to buy a book, and end up buying one for your child too because he/she starts throwing a fit in the super-quiet bookstore and screams "Book! Book! Book!" at the top of his/her lungs.
You will go into your favorite store, Anthropologie, and attempt to find something cute, weather-appropriate, and inexpensive (good luck with that one) to wear to a football game that weekend. You will take the huge, cumbersome stroller into a handicapped changing room and strip down as quickly as possible. Your child will tire of the book you just got him/her, and he/she will demand "cackas.'' Cue the goldfish. While you attempt to wade through the pile of potential outfits, your child will open the door and show everyone in the dressing area what you look like without a top on. Awesome. You will leave a trail of crumbs Hansel and Gretel style all over the store, therefore making it easy for the employees to figure out which person made a fantastic mess. You will turn red with shame.
On the bright side, you will get 3 cute tops and a blazer. Your child will be so exhausted from peeking out under the dressing room door that he/she will fall asleep on the ride home.
I'm just warning you.
5 comments:
fully noted.
thanks.
I am exhausted from that story. Do I need to also start packing Red Bull along with Goldfish and Juice?
LMAO. Cute cute blazer though! Very KStew.
HA!!!!! Love it! Hope to see you in Starkville!
This is so funny & true! Last week Presley and I went to Tupelo shopping and he screamed loud the entire time! Not sick, fussy, hungry, just for fun- Left my purse on one of the tables at Ann Taylor and had to go back to get it...luckily it was still there! Oh, and nobody cares about mommies with strollers...never enough room!
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